And come on, watch some Seinfeld or something! If you missed that, well hopefully you still enjoyed it. Longtime listeners, and those with refined taste, might just recognize the style of J. As I doled out perfectly uniform banana slices to each member of my party, I had but one thought: the Lilliputians are gonna shit! My trials, travels, and journals of methodology had all led up to this moment and like a proud father standing before his prized bird, carving knife in hand, I looked at my motley assemblage and impressed upon the Hutzler its final, true use. It was only when, having sieved the sands of Kiribati in a fruitless search for Captain Cook’s treasure, my second cousin, once revived, suggested we adjourn to the island settlement of Banana. I descaled fish and scraped ice from windshields in the Yakutia Region of Siberia for spare rubles and blood sausage. And so my travels continue.įor three months, the Hutzler and I joined a zydeco band, replacing a washboard player who had as fierce a taste for alligator as alligator did for him. I’ve seen it be many things in my time – a drying rack for swamp-soaked socks, a spaghetti serving-size separator for starved Italian troops, a ladder for my dear Lilliputian friends – but I have yet to behold each of the Hutzler’s 571 applications. In Brazil, at the Festa do Peao de Barretos, it was a substitute belt buckle, providing a fading champ one last ride in the sun. In the Australian outback, a measuring implement, as we surveyed the metes and bounds of the arid red landscape. On the Eastern face of K2 it was a carabiner, keeping our team in tandem for the final leg of our ascent. Per usual, we will start with the fake and move on to the fact. And with that said, here are the meme and real reviews of the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer, based on actually purchasing and using said product. We know what makes them funny and what makes them fall flat. Now, as pocket jokers, we at Review Party Dot Com know what makes reviews good, bad, and ugly. That okay, okay, these reviews are a bit of hogwash, but that they’re fun, and we can all have fun with this, as long as we call a spade a spade. On subsequent tries, I remembered to peel the skin off first, and if worked much better.What we have here is some funnies, but also some self-awareness. This eventually worked out okay, but it was annoying to have to peel the skin off of each individual slice before eating it. The first time I used it, I left the skin on the banana before slicing (not knowing any better). “The lack of detailed instructions is a bit of a downer. This little slicer does work really well! I did have to cut each of the pieces in half though to make them the right thickness, but it was fun & quick!!” – JA “This is SOOOOO not a necessary kitchen gadget.but it's REALLY Cute.and does work great.makes filling the food dehydrator a snap.but I won't know until tomorrow if it cuts the slices the right thickness for dehydrating.we'll see :) “Famous people that own the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer: Banksy, Oprah, Ted Koppel, the Unibomber, Mike Tyson, Carrottop, Vanilla Ice, and Michelle Obama.” – John I mean, why would you not want to slice a banana into small pieces? Just don't slice the wrong thing.” – Zach
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